- What does *Being Real* mean to you
- What does it really mean to *be real*?
- And in all of it, what is it that you are really *real* about?
However, I am not here to talk about the culture of *being real* that we now live in. I am here to talk about *being real * with God. When we are real with God, then we have to *be real *with ourselves and that's all God really wants from us, His children, which is one of the reason I created and started this website.
When I started ministering the Word of God online, it was strictly writing about the positives of the Christian faith, but my life isn't just about the positives of my faith. It's by far not a perfect life. There are some major negatives in my life that has led me to where I am today. I am but only one person; one Christ believer that wants nothing more than to be able to love and worship God in total freedom with all my heart, soul, mind and body. I am but one of God's children in the midst of a multitude.
I have my own personal idiosyncrasies that I've to deal with on a daily basis, such as dysfunctional thinking, self annihilation, character assignation, guilt and condemnation, just to name a few. For many, many years I've fought with myself and agonized over being a true faithful and authentic Christian. I've struggle with my own spiritual, mental and emotional demons. I have suffered in silence about all the negatives and the darkness that still haunts me, even today. And today, this is why I am here: to write about my life and my God.
God has called me to write, and has given me the gift of writing. When I started really learning about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and reading the bible for myself, I was enlightened with knowledge about myself in context to Who God really was. As I continued drawing closer and closer to God, He began drawing closer and closer to my heart.
God started speaking to me in that small still voice of His with compassion, and tenderness ; and as He spoke I began 'writing down' what I was hearing; not what 'I' was hearing, but what 'my 'heart was hearing from His Holy Spirit. Then I began to understand. But I also understood that we (God & I) had a lot of work to do in order to correct my perception and perspective of God and this whole spirituality and Christianity thing!
During these quiet times with God, I became more and more immerse into His Word. I started searching and seeking out the truth, God's truth about what He wanted for me and what He wanted to do for me. But first, I had to *be real* with myself, and see myself for who I really was at the time; which was brokenhearted, a prisoner and captive living in darkness. Even though I had accepted Christ and given my life to Him, I was still living in darkness. The light of Christ had not made it into the recesses of my heart. It had not made into the darkness that resided in my heart and mind, just yet.
So as the story goes, I continued with God, learning everything I could and being taught by His Holy Spirit (the Spirit of truth) the real truth of living this fleshy, carnal life for Him instead of for me. As I continued to learn, and grow, and write, God was pleased and asked me to live my life as an open book out of what I was learning and gaining in knowledge and wisdom.
"As an open book?" I asked. His repl y, a resounding "YES!"
And so I began to write. I started writing to Him about everything that was on my heart; that was weighing me down; that made me angry, upset and frustrated. I wrote about everything and anything that had happened in my life and was happening (and I continue to write to Him about my life even now); good, bad or indifferent. I wrote about "the good, the bad and the ugly" of my life.
The things I wrote about were things I would never dream of revealing to anyone at all, including God. But, in order for God to help me I had to go inside myself and look at what was *really there* and what was *really holding* me back from total surrender to Him. Therefore the healing began. By Him revealing to me who I really was and what was really inside of me.
There is a saying that goes like this,
Sometimes you read the bible: but then, sometimes the bible reads you!
So today I can honestly say,
I hold nothing back from my Heavenly Father. No matter how bad, good or ugly (in me) it may be; I hold nothing back. I hold nothing back,** from Him!
God has asked me to *be real* about what I write here and to write from the heart. I am to share what He has placed inside of me with the world, through my writing.
He knows who His children are who love Him and has a heart for Him, but are still in bondage to the darkness. They are still brokenhearted and prisoners of their own demise. They are still held captive to the repetition of dysfunctional, destructive and vicious life cycles; and have no clue how to overcome. So they suffer in silence, as I did for many years, thinking that God doesn't know what is really inside of them, and why He would or even should care.
But it is not until you can *be real *with God (transparent and holding nothing back from Him) before you can began to heal and come into a full love relationship with Him and Christ.
So for now, I leave you with this bit of information. As I continue to write what is in my heart (as the Holy Spirit guides and leads me) I pray that, through my stories, my experiences and even my pain, you find some comfort and some understanding of God, our Heavenly Father, Who wants nothing more than for you to know Him and His love for you.
Keeping it real by being real with God and myself!